Void

I'm missing impact, I lack feeling. I was just now accepted into my first choice college, Pennsylvania College of Art & Design, but I don't feel anything. When I was accepted into my second choice, The University of the Arts, I didn't feel anything. It's like after the process of applying was done with, the outcome didn't matter anymore. It was either was or wasn't, and if it was then that would be nice. Yay me... Maybe I wont be happy until I actually go somewhere... Or maybe I'm not happy because I was actually accepted... I'm scared, college is scary. This is like the first time my mother took me to my first grade class and just said she was gonna ditch me, I cried and tried to cling to her. I didn't want to be left alone, but in the end I was and nothing got better. I just cried. College is like a bigger form of that. Instead of leaving me in a classroom to only be coming to pick me up later on, I gonna be dropped off and forgotten, never to be picked up again. And I'll be alone, I'm not good at making friends.But of course, when I get somewhere, I'll just have to deal with it. I have to grow up, I suppose...
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Back to me getting into my first choice. It doesn't really matter if you get into a college if you can't go... I didn't see anything about a scholarship in there(hopefully they send some grants or something later on). But yeah, my mom's choosing my college's on how much money they offer(cuz we're poor), it's understandable. I WANT to go to PCAD, but I can't if they don't offer any money... I WANT to go to PCAD, but I can't if they don't offer any money... I have never been able to go to the school I've wanted to ever since Middle School. I was always rejected, never good enough; this isn't any different really. No money, no go. NO GO, not different at all. There's is no point of acceptance if you can't go, and being accepted and not being able to go is so much harder. Being rejected is easy, you know your worthless. But when your accepted and you just can't go, you get mixed feelings and mixed feelings kill people. I want a solid feeling, I WANT TO GO. I just hope they send some grants or scholarships later. I pray, and I don't even pray.

Public Broadcast of thought...

Why do people feel the need to lie about something that they have obviously done or something that they are obviously doing? Or rather, why can't people admit to their obviousness, that should even be obvious to them? It's like they don't accept themselves or something.
Tanique, you are using John. Accept it. I mean, the meaning of using is to be with someone to gain something from them, and even if that's not the reason that a person is with someone but something is still being gained then the other person is still being used... even unintentionally(at least that's the meaning I came up with to fit the situation. I'm just making this up). And you gain a lot. Accept it. You tell John to do a ton of things. Accept it. John does things for you and you accept those things, same as using(you're still gaining something). ACCEPT IT! Just saying...just saying...
Everyone uses people, EVERYONE does, some do so more roughly than others but the fact doesn't change.
Sooo, uh... this was just a random thought I had in the shower...
Uhh...Nachos? *end broadcast*

Greatest Victory Ever!

I had a college interview with Pennsylvania College of Art and Design. Of course, it was scary at first but it wasn't all as bad as I thought it would be. The lady said I did well at explaining my work, she was talking to me like I had already been accepted. It was nice and fun. She liked a lot of my work. But I don't want to get my hopes up but its hard, I'm having a battle in my mind.
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On second note, not to brag or anything but I'm awesome. Greatest victory ever: 442 episodes finished in 3 weeks. Well, actually 3 weeks and 2 days but who really need the specifics? Its too much to say anyway, so lets just stick with 3 weeks. I am completely in love with One Piece. I can't think of anything but that. Luffy makes me smile, not to sound gay or anything. Robin turns me on. Their adventures make me excited. Maybe because it's a shonen anime, and I am a shonen, that I just can't stop watching it. It's like the anime was made for me, I'm so invovled. Feels like I'm fighting the battles. lol.
Just know that I am an otaku who races through anime. VROOM VROOM.

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On third note, I didn't get to go to the party I wanted to go to. For some reason, John was taking like 5 hours just to get to walgreens, and by the time he would have actually made it and we would have left to go to the party together I would have had to go home. Yay for that fail. I'm a bit upset but I'll get over it. Look at that, I'm over it.
Instead of going to the party, I went over Sydney's house. We talked, laughed, watched tv, we just hung out. We watched some porn and laughed at that. And then I turned on some anime and I laughed at that. Tonight was fine, not bad at all. Though before I went to Sydney's house, some bum-looking guy said to me: "Hey, baby, how you doing?" It was like he was trying to pick me up or something, or maybe he thought I was a hooker. But before all of that, I'M A GUY. G U Y. Goodness... I didn't tell him that though, I just told him: "I'm fine" and went about my business. It was too much to explain that I was simply a pretty little boy.
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On fourth note, Good night~ I tired...

Have you ever wondered...

While you were walking somewhere, have you ever wondered if you were actually awake? While you were walking somewhere, have you ever wondered if you were actually wearing pants? When you arrived at your destination, did you ask yourself: "How the heck did I get here?"
That's how it was for me today. Today was an odd day, it was like time itself slowed down(but I know it didn't, time doesn't get faster or slower if time even moves at all). I went through my day in a daze, bumping into random folk who I couldn't care less about.

I have way too much to do, maybe that's why my brain is all fizzled like root beer. I have to do all these art assignments, I have to finish turning in all my college crap, I have to make my portfolio for these art colleges, I have to do annoying homework, and I have to get ready for prom too. And above all else, I HAVE TO WATCH ANIME! I can't go through a day without watching anime, and when I do watch anime I can't stop so all that stuff that I said I have to do just piles up.

Anime is deadly, don't become an otaku kids. It could ruin your life...or maybe not. I'm not even sure.

Blah blah blah.... Is that all I have to say? I guess. See ya, I'm gonna watch some anime and not do my homework. I'm such an idiot.