I cried. I have cried for the past. I have cried for what happened in the past. I cried for something that happened in the past that I should've cried for when it happened. And now I feel..happy. I feel as though I've pricked my finger on heaven's gate and it feels good. You know how when you give blood, you feel all light but somehow that lightness feels a bit good? Well, I mean I wouldn't really know but I just imagine it would feel like that. That little moment in time when you don't feel weighed down and you're just there thinking about nothing in particular. I mean, you can't really think. You're short on energy, but that feels good nonetheless right? My eyes have been opened, my blood has come out of that little injury on my finger, and I'm flying right now. I'm not weighed down by a single thing. I'm just...there. Have you ever lay in the grass and just look up at the blue sky and watch the clouds change shape? It's kinda like that, I guess. When you look up at the sky it feels as if you're up in it or that you are the sky itself. That's how I feel right now, I feel vast, I feel as though I'm amazing, as amazing as the sky, enveloping everything without discrimination.
I wont feel like this forever though, which is why I'm making this note. To tell the truth, this is only a break. But it's an important break, it's a break that'll allow me to keep going. Right now, I'm thinking that I have to live, not live as in thrive or succeed but live as in to accept. I can't tell you what exactly I'm accepting, that would be cheating. =} This break allows me to keep living, this break gives me a reason to keep living. I'm still not sure what I'm living FOR, just like the rest of you, all I know is that I HAVE to keep living no matter what.
I'm just a human. I have problems, I hurt, I get scared, I hate, I dislike, I cry. But thats only half...no, that's only maybe a quarter of the plate. I'm just a human... And that's perfectly fine... I'm alive after all. Ah, how fortunate I am~ How fortunate we all are~
